6hszr sie75 4fzsi r6a7z 66t65 nn22t 3t5fd f2nnt ee35z ahrad b69y3 59br2 zeenk hz929 t6dh2 4h7fh ahd96 5457f sskz7 37s2y sfnyr I found my housemate laying in my backyard today, minutes from death, with his 4 y/o son standing next to his body. How can I best support him? |

I found my housemate laying in my backyard today, minutes from death, with his 4 y/o son standing next to his body. How can I best support him?

2021.12.03 01:48 banananutmuffle I found my housemate laying in my backyard today, minutes from death, with his 4 y/o son standing next to his body. How can I best support him?

TW: overdose
C works as a project manager for my fiancé’s company. He has a felony on his record from previous drug-induced mishaps / crimes, which made it difficult for him to find a rental company that would enter into an apartment lease with him. So my fiancé and I offered to rent the lower-level of our home out to him as long as he remained sober. He’s been sober for a little over 2 years at this point, and he has been enjoying spending time with his son after work. He has seemed happy, on track, and hasn’t had any no-shows at work all year.
I really haven’t noticed any odd behavior or signs of relapse… until today.
I saw C and his son throwing a ball for my dog outside from my home office window. 10 minutes later, I heard my dog barking, which she doesn’t do unless she’s left alone). I went to let her inside and as I peeked towards the corner of my backyard, I saw C laying with his pants halfway down his legs, face in the mud, with his son calling out to him, “Dad! Dad! Get up!”.
My stomach dropped as I saw the dried vomit next to C’s face, which was turning grayer by the second. His heartbeat was fading. He started seizing after I turned him on his side. It was the second closest encounter with death I’ve experienced (the first being my own overdose—first and last time taking pain killers with other inexperienced users at 19 y/o. Can’t believe I allowed some 21 y/o frat boy tell me it was a good idea to take an extra hydro with a shot of vodka because I “wasn’t feeling the first one”. So fucking stupid.).
Thankfully, I live one block from the ambulance station so they arrived with narcan in hand 30 seconds after I dialed 911. I feel dumb for not stashing narcan as soon as C began living with us, but his drug of choice has always been meth. I’ve never heard of him taking opioids until today. Based on what he’s told me, he snorted morphine offered by his cannabis plug 30 minutes before the incident.
He’s okay now. I think. His ex came and took his son (rightfully so), so I know he’s down about that. He’s mentioned how ashamed he feels. I’ve told him that shame and judgement have no place in our home, and that he is free to be, feel, and communicate ANYTHING he needs to in order to experience absolute safety and security with my partner & I. I’ve asked him how I could support him right now, but he just keeps his head down and says he’s sorry and appreciates our help. The thing is, I don’t care to be appreciated. That’s not the point. I don’t need him to be sorry. I need him to be okay. I need him to love his life sober, and I’m afraid that he is currently in a place mentally where that isn’t possible.
So I guess I’m looking for first-hand insight in regards to one question:
During your recovery process, what are some of the gestures, actions, words of love and encouragement, etc. from friends and family that made you feel the most supported?
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